#014 On SOLUTIONS MODE! And why sitting with problems can be good for your wellbeing
Albert Einstein reportedly said that if he had an hour to solve a problem, he’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and five minutes thinking about solutions.
I have been thinking a lot about problem solving (or over thinking it) for the last month. I have started a new job where we talk a lot about problem solving, I have been talking to friends about problems (and how to solve them), and I feel like my household is in peak problem season (fixing a leaking washing machine, fixing dinner, fixing sibling rivalry).
Now that I am actively thinking about problem solving, it has really struck me that people tend to take two approaches to a problem.
In the first camp are the fixers, as soon as you have a problem – they dive right into solution mode. Did you try this? Maybe I should really think about doing that… We all have people like this in our lives (I bet you can picture a few right now!).
In the second camp are contemplatives. When faced with a problem, this group is likely to take a step back and ask why the problem might be occurring in the first place
Generally, we all probably are contemplative fixers. But some of us lean heavily to one side or the other.
After taking a deep dive into how I think about problems from a work perspective – how do you develop a problem statement? What tools could you use to unpack this? What would a hypothesis look like? – I have started to think about how I can better solve problems in life.
Unfortunately, most of the time we tend to skip the contemplation step, and step/hurl ourselves straight into SOLUTION MODE (which I like to think of as the less productive version of dance mode, like on Bluey).
Recall a recent life problem, big or small, and think about how you started to unpack it in your mind?
For me, (and apologies in the advance for the completely random example) my problem was feline. I have two sibling 18 month old cats. They loved each other, until they didn’t. And one day (while I was solo parenting 3 kids), the cat-apocalypse erupted. There was fighting, hissing, guttural miaowing, and brushy tails. All of a sudden my 2 cats hated each other, and weren’t afraid to show it – especially in the middle of the night (being woken up by a toddler and cats is not my idea of a good time).
Immediately I went to SOLUTION MODE. I tried separating them, feeding them separately, and contemplated cat aromatherapy (would lavender work?). Separation didn’t worked. They still carried on like sworn enemies. Once I got over my annoyance – at the cats and at myself for getting straight to SOLUTION MODE, I started to unpack my life problem like I would a work problem - and contemplate why this was happening in the first place. I won’t bore you with the finer details of cat psychology, but I worked out there was a neighbouring cat who liked to wander through my yard (!) and he looks similar to my grey cat – so giving my grey cat lots of pats in front of his sister to show ‘look, not an intruder!’ worked a treat, and now everyone is friends again.
By switching to a contemplative approach, I was able to consider a number of reasons why the problem was occurring in the first place, rather than just jumping straight into fixing the problem with whatever band-aid solution I could think of.
Why do we tend to jump straight into solutions mode?
Because solutions feel good, it feels like we are bringing some certainty.
Humans crave certainty.
Solutions demonstrate we are efficient!
Importantly, how we approach problems – both big and small – in life affects our wellbeing.
When you aren’t sure how to approach a problem, it creates stress and anxiety. It can affect your mood, your sleep, your relationships and your mental health. Jumping straight into solutions mode might address some of the uncertainty you feel (see, I’m fixing it!), but more often than not anxiety starts to bubble up as you start to wonder if it was the right approach, or why it didn’t work.
By practicing a more structured approach to problem solving and asking yourself why something might be occurring, we can start to feel ok with sitting with the discomfort of uncertainty.
There are a few key ways we can get out of solutions mode. We can:
Get clear. It’s difficult to resolve a problem if it is abstract. Dig down into why it might be occurring. A great technique used in Design Thinking is the 5 Whys.
Let’s apply it to a problem we all have experienced, either at home or at work - mental load.
Why do I deal with such a heavy mental load?
Because most of the work involved with mental load is invisible
Why is it invisible?
Because of the intangible nature of the work involved, the continuous cycle of thinking, worrying, planning is relentless!
Why is it intangible?
Mostly because we allow it to be, we don’t often give voice to our mental loads. But we could start to write down what is weighing us down in a bid to share the load.
Why would this help?
Making the invisible visible is the first step. Perhaps your partner/work colleague hasn’t thought about how much work goes into planning a party, but when you write it down, step by (mundane) step, it becomes pretty clear how much labour is involved.
Why is there so much labour?!
Good point. When you write it all down, it becomes easier to pick out things to delegate, things to scale back, helps you to track your load, and can help to manage expectations.
Think about it from multiple angles/perspectives. If I am having this problem, maybe my friend/partner/child feels the same way. Thinking about it from different perspectives can help with getting clear on the problem, but also helps not to bring personal bias to it (and therefore into future solutions)
What’s my unicorn solution? Think about what you want out of the problem being solved – is it for cats to stop fighting (!), or your partner/kids/colleagues to take on more of the mental load?
What’s on the table? Now we can start to think about solutions – not just one solution, but try to come up with at least 3-4 ideas, and some that are a bit whacky.
If you are interested in the science of ideas generation, there is a great book called Ideaflow. You can practice a bit of ideaflow by setting a timer for 2 minutes and grabbing a pen and paper (or the notes app on your phone) and writing as many ideas as you can in response to a question (like ‘why do my children never clean their room?’, ‘if I had a free weekend, what would I do?’, ‘what can I cook that everyone will eat?’, ‘what do I want in my life to look like in 10 years?).
These 4 tools are all great for approaching your own problems, while also being great tools to help you deal with other people’s problems (i.e. at work!).
It’s all about listening.
Listening to yourself and sitting with the uncertainty, rather than just jumping straight into trying to fix it.
And just sitting and listening to others, rather than offering up ideas to help them
Through listening to ourselves and others, often the solution will naturally come out, we just need some time and space to work through things!
Be well,
Alicia x